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DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 41 years, married for 30, but we lived together for five years before we tied the knot. I have just learned he has a son who is two months younger than our son. The mother is a woman he slept with while I was pregnant with our first child. She put the baby up for adoption, and the young man has just reached out to my daughter. My husband claims he didn’t find out about the child until after he was relinquished, and he didn’t believe the woman ever really gave birth.
I am devastated. I feel like my entire marriage to him has been a lie. He says after we were married 31 years ago, he never cheated on me, and I should move past it. What do you think I should do? – UNABLE TO LET IT GO

DEAR UNABLE: You have my sympathy. I agree with your husband that you need to move past this, but that doesn’t mean you should forget it. Solid marriages are based on trust, and yours has understandably been shattered.
If his behavior since your wedding has been as exemplary as he claims, you should be able to review his financial records and see where the marital assets have been going. He should also be willing to discuss this in the office of a licensed marriage and family therapist. If he is unwilling to do this, it is another red flag, and you should consider consulting a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been Christian all my life. When I married my husband 22 years ago, he was too. We raised our kids in the same faith. Well, he has recently decided he will no longer practice Christianity. I never would have married someone outside my faith. How do I continue in this marriage? – FAITHFUL IN OREGON

DEAR FAITHFUL: I am sure this has been upsetting for you, and you have my sympathy. I would hope that your husband’s recent change of mind is something you have discussed with him, because he may have his reasons for it.
Because of your own deep religious beliefs, this may be something to discuss with your religious adviser. Some couples in these circumstances adopt a “live and let live” attitude, which means you follow your Christian path and allow your husband to follow his.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law emailed me Christmas lists for my niece and nephew. Abby, I didn’t ask for them, nor did I request gift ideas for her children. In fact, I haven’t seen my sister-in-law in more than six months. Of course I will be giving gifts to both my nephew and niece, but I think it was awfully presumptuous of her to just send a link via email. How can I respond to this in the future? Should I just let it go? Am I wrong in thinking that it was poor etiquette on her part? – DUMBFOUNDED IN FLORIDA

DEAR DUMBFOUNDED: Your sister-in-law may have been trying to be helpful, but I agree that what she did was presumptuous. Handle it by sending gifts of your own choosing to your niece and nephew. If you receive any more links of that nature in the future, do the same thing.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

A Carencro woman has been sentenced to 14 months in prison followed by three years of supervised release for defrauding her employer, U.S. Attorney Alexander C. Van Hook announced.
Yvette L. Fontenot, 54, was also ordered to pay restitution in the amount of $149,461.48.
According to the U.S. Attorney’s Office, Fontenot pleaded guilty to the charge on Aug. 20.
In her position as office manager at a Lafayette business, Fontenot was authorized to use certain credit cards for business expenses, as well as certain business accounts to pay the balances of those cards and other business expenses.
Evidence presented in court showed that from November 2008 until August 2016, Fontenot used several of the business credit cards for personal expenses for herself and her family.
Fontenot knew that these credit cards were obtained and authorized for business use only and she knew that other business accounts would be used to pay the balances of the credit card accounts, according to the U.S. Attorney’s Office.
Business funds were used to pay these credit card balances and personal expenses of Fontenot through business checks prepared by Fontenot herself. She did this with the intent to defraud the company for personal gain, the evidence showed.
The amount of loss suffered by the company as identified in the criminal proceedings was $149,461.48.
The United States Secret Service investigated the case and Assistant U.S. Attorney Myers P. Namie prosecuted the case.

On Monday, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki announced that the Biden administration would diplomatically boycott the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics over human rights.
“Given the People’s Republic of China’s ongoing genocide and crimes against humanity in Xinjiang and other human rights abuses, the Biden administration will not send any diplomatic or official representation to the Beijing Winter Olympics and Paralympic Games,” Psaki told reporters.
Psaki added that Team USA athletes will “have our full support” as they cheer them on from home.
The news of the diplomatic boycott comes after lawmakers pressured the Biden administration to take a stand against China’s human rights abuses, NBC News reported.
China responded to the news by saying that it would take “resolute countermeasures” if the diplomatic boycott took place, CNN reported.
According to the media outlet, pressure mounted of a diplomatic boycott after Chinese tennis star Peng Shuai disappeared from public view for three weeks after accusing a senior leader of the Chinese Communist Party of sexual assault.
Beijing is set to begin hosting the Winter Olympics on Feb. 4.

On Monday, congressional leaders announced that former Senate majority leader and 1996 Republican presidential nominee Bob Dole would lie in state in the US Capitol Rotunda on Thursday.
Dole died Sunday at age 98. He had announced in February that he was being treated for advanced lung cancer.
Dole was a decorated veteran, having served in the U.S. Army from 1942 to 1948. He was awarded a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart for his service in World War II. In 1945, Dole’s two vertebrae were crushed, and he was paralyzed in his arms and legs when a shell fragment hit him in northern Italy in 1945. He spent three years in a hospital recovering and never regained the use of his right hand.
Arriving in Washington at the dawn of the Kennedy administration, Dole would serve for 27 years as a U.S. senator from Kansas, including two stints as the Senate majority leader, though he might be best known for his unsuccessful run as the Republican presidential nominee against Bill Clinton in 1996, his third attempt at the White House. He also served as President Gerald Ford’s running mate in 1976 after Nelson Rockefeller declined to stay on as vice president.